Diary of a Fat White Woman

Well sorry I haven’t written for a while but I’ve been super busy with work and lots of overtime. Today is Thanksgiving and I’ve taken the day off completely and done absolutely nothing (well maybe a teeny bit of housework).

Re weight loss - nothing has been happening. I am the same weight as I was on my last post September 26…. 367 lbs. I’ve been going up and down the same 3 lbs. I know it can happen and I read posts on obesityhelp.com with other people having the exact same problem but it is still quite discouraging.

I’ve not been paying much attention to what I”m eating lately. I just don’t seem to find anything that interests me. My taste buds have definitely changed since the surgery. Things that I used to really enjoy just don’t thrill the mouth anymore. And as I wrote that I had a thought — perhaps it was because before I was eating with my head. I’m not sure that makes sense and now I’ve put it in words it doesn’t quite sound like what my thought was. Oh well. Also because of me working so much I’ve not done my workouts with the trainer for weeks. I am going to try to this week. My sister and I have a new trainer for the weights and keeping the other for the pilates. I met the new trainer last week (her name is Jen) and watched her give my sister a workout and I’m scared LOL.
Hair is still falling out. It’s so very thin. Thinking that maybe I should get it cut but I’ve always had long hair and don’t like short hair. I’ll wait.

Went to a movie yesterday and had some popcorn. Unfortunately I have found out that I can munch down on popcorn with no problem. I can eat tons before I feel full. It was very yummy and so I bought a bag of smart food at the grocery store.

I am hoping this stall ends soon. Thanks for reading.

Not sure why but it’s been a very slow month in terms of weight loss. The last week my scales said I actually gained a few lbs. Not sure why. I get a bit depressed at times wondering where the 30lbs a month that I’ve heard so much about is. Only had one vomit session this month so that is good but had a few dumpings. I still need to learn to eat more slowly. The worst thing is the last week I have been losing my hair. I know I was told it was a possibility at about the 3 month mark but was hoping it wouldn’t happen to me. Apparently it’s your body’s response to the stress of the surgery and the so few calories you are taking in the first few months. I dread brushing my hair in the morning because there is so much in the brush when I’m done and on me. It’s only supposed to last a few months and there isn’t much I can do about it. The nurse said I won’t lose ALL of my hair and that it will grow back. Work has been very stressful so I am also wondering if that could be the cause of the very little weight loss.

At my follow up appointment last week I asked about getting into weight training because last time I was there they said only hand weights of 3-5 lbs. They said I can do whatever I want now but to listen to my body. So I met the trainer in the exercise room today and worked on the weight machines. It was fun!!! I hate cardio exercises and this was great. I am hoping to tone up things as much as possible to reduce sagging skin and such.

Eating wise this week has been ok but I really haven’t had much of an appetite except for yesterday. I was really stressed with work so maybe thats the reason but I just felt hungry all day. I haven’t really had hunger since the surgery so I’m gonna say it was more head hunger due to stress. I was flipping through take out menus and wanting so much to order piles of stuff. I didn’t because I knew it would be a waste of money as I can’t eat much and most take out stuff is too greasy for me now. But boy oh boy the stress was wanting me to pig out!!!

Ok so my stall finally ended and my weight loss was …

August 28 - 375 lbs

August 31 - 372.5 (-2.5)

Sept 4 - 370.5 (-2.0)

Sept 7 - 368.5 (-2.0)

I’m losing 4-5 lbs a week so I’m happy. And I’ve no more food upsets. Feeling good and starting to notice my body changing. According to my scales on Sept 7th I had lost 100 lbs since first seeing the surgeon in June 2008. WOW!!!!

I had a follow up today with the surgeon. My blood tests were perfect … calcium, sodium, b12, sugars, everything was normal except for my iron. Last time it was at 4 and this time at 14 so they want me to continue with the iron supplements. They were very happy with everything. They told me my bmi was 76 when I first came to them and today it is 60!!

I am really seeing this as the best decision I could have ever made.

Weighed myself today and according to scales I’m still 375lbs which is what I was last Friday. A little depressing that I haven’t lost in the past week but I supposed staying the same is better than gaining.

I had another vomit episode this week with a chicken, tomato and mushroom dish from my chef.

My friend Rob won some steaks at a dart tournament last weekend and brought me one. I LOVE STEAK!!! But I’m afraid to eat it so it’s in the freezer for now. I still need softer bits of meat.

Gonna try a new recipe this weekend at my mums. Will tell you how that goes. Stay tuned!!

I’m throwing up again. I had a very tasty beef stirfry for dinner. But I think I ate too much, too fast and didn’t chew the meat enough. Anyway, it’s coming up again. I hate this. Feeling like crap right now. My own fault too. How many times do I have to throw up before I remember to chew alot and eat slowly.

Weighed myself this morning and according to the scales I lost 2 lbs over the weekend. Not bad considering I went to a party last night too that had tons of food. Funny watching people load mounds of potato salad, macaroni salad, vegies, meat, buns on their plate and I had one slice of beet, one slice of cucumber, a few pieces of macaroni, a few pieces of potato salad and a 1/4 of a egg salad sandwich and that filled me. Then I watched everyone go back for seconds and some for thirds.

Nothing much to report at this time in regards to food issues. Everything is staying down and doing good. When I weighed myself on Monday the scale said I had stayed the same since Friday. I’ll weigh myself again tomorrow morning and see what the verdict is.

I went to my doctor yesterday cause I needed some blood tests in preparation for my visit with the surgeon on Sept 10th. She said she could see in my face that I was losing weight. Actually just about everyone I’ve come across has said they see it in my face.

Saw the trainer, Mike, today and had a nice workout. Will be a bit sore tomorrow I think in the arms.
Been having a few “wow” moments lately too. Yesterday walking down to the car I realized that walking isn’t as difficult as it used to be for me. And when I put my watch on I had to use the next hole down on the strap! I have a few shirts I have to take the neck in on too. I seem to have more energy lately, especially in the evening. I actually want to get up and do housework, good grief!!

Saturday night is my first party since the operation so will see how I do with the food and stuff. Keep posted!

I went to Dr Bishop’s office on Wednesday for an appointment with his nutritionist. I got on the scales and had lost 17.5 lbs since my visit 2 weeks previously!! WOW!

The nutritionist was no help at all though. She showed me the same booklet they gave me when I first when to see Dr Bishop last year outlining carbs, proteins, restricted vegetables, free vegetables, etc. She kept talking to me like I was just doing the atkins diet or something. She’d be showing me the booklet and saying something like “and don’t have more than 1/2 cup of beets at a time” and I’m thinking “um I can only eat 1/2 cup of anything at a time”. Anyway, she didn’t tell me anything I didn’t know so I think I’ll just stop going. Very soon I’ll be able to get weighed on my regular doctor’s scales (which only go up to 375lbs). I have an appointment with her next week to get her to write out an order for blood tests that I need to have done before I visit the surgeon in beginning of Sept.

Feeling good about things. Next Saturday I’m going to my first party since the surgery at my sisters and she always has a good spread … things like nachos and a yummy dip, sausage rolls, hors d’oeuvres, chips, etc. But this time they are thinking about me and will be doing deli meats and buns, salads (potato, macaroni, etc.). I’ll not eat dinner that night and just nibble on things there.

And in the next few weeks I’ll be going to my first restaurant since surgery. I’ll let you know how that goes. I’ll have to be careful what I order as I don’t want to be running to the bathroom. My boss was telling me this week that his family went out for chinese on the weekend and kept telling his wife to slow down with her eating. She had the surgery 3 years ago. Well she ate too fast and ended up running to bathroom and throwing it all up again. I guess it is something you have to remember and live with the rest of your life.

Met with the trainer twice this week and boy am I sore and stiff!! LOL but I guess that is a good thing. I want to tone up as much as I can to try to minimize the amount of sagging skin I’ll get.

Last week I wrote a post about another vomit session but I guess I forgot to publish/save it before logging out … silly me. Anyway, week before last I had a spaghetti and meatballs that the chef had made. I threw it all up right after. I thought at the time it was because I had over nuked it and the meatballs were kinda chewy/overcooked. So Thursday last week I tried it again but made sure I didn’t overnuke it. Unfortunately, same thing happened and I threw it up. I really don’t know why because I’ve had his spaghetti before since the surgery (in the no meat stage) and was fine. And I made my own meatballs (porcupine balls) last weekend and was fine. I can honestly say I do not like throwing up… it’s really foul after the surgery.

Now I’m a little afraid when eating new foods. At mums yesterday she made sausages and they stayed down!! Woohoo. I also bought some coleslaw and chicken salad from the butcher shop. I tried a spoonful of the coleslaw and it didn’t sit well (so my sister ate it today) but the chicken salad went down very nicely.

I did my Monday morning weigh-in and ….

So it’s come to my attention that I have forgotten to mention how the actual weight loss is going.

Last week I visited the Doctor who helped me lose the weight prior to the surgery. I got on his scales and it said I had lost 10lbs since last time I was there (which was about 2 weeks prior to the surgery). At first I thought, “10lbs? Is that it? ” but after thinking about it I realized that I had gained 15 after the surgery so I had lost that 15 plus another 10 making a 25lb loss. I have another appointment next week and will continue to go every 2 weeks to monitor things.

So that being said, I have 2 scales here at home but I’m not sure if I can trust them. They both give me different weights every time I step on them. I have decided to weigh myself on both of them every Monday and Friday and take the average weight loss. So here’s the deal so far …

And of course, the doctors scale said 409.0! As I said in a previous post - Stupid Scales

Anyway, I can notice that some shirts are feeling looser (I have to take 2 in at the neck cause the neckline is too big now and shows my bra strap on my shoulder) and yesterday when walking from the car I noticed I kept tripping over my long denim skirt I was wearing cause it kept slipping down.

Hope this helps. I am losing and for that I am truly grateful.