Welcome to my site about my struggle with weight loss and food addiction, to accept and love myself and to be healthy and remain independent.

Who Am I

So who am I. My name is Sue and I am 43 years old and weigh 425 lbs. It's not the heaviest I've been but it's close. I have tried many different diets to lose weight and have come to the conclusion that I am a food addict. Some people may say that is a "cop out" but I don't think so. I've spoken to alot of other obese people and have seen a pattern. My sister understands and has the same issues whereas my mother doesn't understand why "just don't eat it" or "just stop after 2 cookies" gets us upset. It's just not that simple. It's also why a "diet" or pill to suppress appetite or even weight loss surgery won't work in the long run.

Below is an excerpt from a book called "Eating in Freedom" by Tom McGregor that I found at http://www.healthrecipes.com/eat.htm. It called out to me, much as the food does, and let me know that I'm not alone.

"It is our heart's desire to eat nutritiously and to be healthy. Yet, in spite of our desire, we follow a different path: the one to the refrigerator. A magnetic cherry cheesecake appears and pulls us closer. "No I shouldn't," we sigh, as if being dragged against our will. We fight its control, but the cheesecake knows that eventually we will surrender.

Bulging bellies and heavy hips are not enough to drive us away from those fatty, sugar-filled foods. High blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease and looming health conditions are not enough to repel us. Like a moth to a flame, we stand mesmerized by a 40-watt refrigerator light. No hunger to satisfy, just a pleasure junkie looking for a fix.

Throwing all restraint aside, we have filled the bloodstream with fat, cholesterol, toxins, additives, and preservatives, consuming foods with no nutrition, expecting our bodies to quietly endure the barrage without the consequences. But, a pleasure-centered diet has a price. Disease and obesity are the plague of the 21st century. Surgery and chemical medicines have become the band-aid for a problem caused by inner pain and emptiness.

Desperation seeks hope in diet programs, liposuction, breakfast shakes, exercise, breathing techniques, stimulants, weight-loss drugs, hypnosis, plastic wraps, creams, vibration machines and electric muscle stimulation — more band-aids. Most of these techniques fail because they cannot relieve the aching of a soul crying for food to soothe the pain.

If we honestly evaluate our decisions and actions, we will face the sobering realization that our emotions are in the driver's seat. Feelings compel us to act. When they become uncontrollable, they are defined as compulsive, obsessive or addictive behavior."

So anyway, my battle continues. I shall post my progress and thoughts on here as a form of therapy and motivation. And perhaps along the way I can help others.